If you want to be happy and healthy, then the tip is simple. Be nice to yourself. According to a study published in The New York Times, people who procure high on self-compassion tests are less anxious, less depressed, and are optimistic most of the time.
It’s kind of interesting that people who are always so sweet and supportive to others often score low on self-compassion tests. They manage to judge and criticize themselves. They get stuck in the trap of negativity and self-criticism and lose their motivation to change.
Kristin Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin and author of the forthcoming book Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, says, “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line.” You will, in fact, find it easier to go easy on yourself.
Here are a few things you can do which can help you come out of the self-criticizing trap.
TRY WRITING ABOUT AN ISSUE
Be honest with yourself and write about whatever you feel like. Write about any issue that happens to make you feel week.
THINK OF AN ILLUSORY FRIEND
Imagine a friend who loves you unconditionally, who is accepting, understanding, and kind. Then write yourself a letter from the prospect of this imaginary person, concentrating on the incompetence you tend to judge yourself for. What would this friend say to you about your “flaw” from the view of immense kindness?
While writing, try to imbue your letter with a powerful spirit of his/her acceptance, affection, consideration, and passion for your health and happiness,
PUT IT DOWN FOR A WHILE
After writing the letter, put it down for a while and leave it. Then come back and read it again. Let the words settle in and embrace the idea that you deserve the acceptance you deny yourself but allow your friend to feel towards you.